Life Lessons Part 1

For my first blog post in this category, I herewith include keywords and phrases I have written in my various journals over the last few months when I have had more time for personal reflection, introspection and analysis.

1) Keep It Simple, Silly!

The more we complicate things, the more challenging they become.

Analysis paralysis is just that, so avoid it as far as possible.

Don't go down the rabbit holes, because they can be difficult to get out of.

It is often simpler to adopt the attitude of 'It is what it is'.

2) Focus on what gives you strength, joy and peace.

3) If you do not forgive, you will never break free from the grip that anger, bitterness and resentment have on your life. Don't let these emotions define you or worry about not letting them go because you don't know what you will replace them with. It's like taking poison yourself and expecting the target of these emotions to die (I think Nelson Mandela said this).

4) Patience truly is a virtue.

You have as much patience as you tell yourself you have.

Patience grows with each and every opportunity you have to exercise it.

Don't avoid situations that will test your patience, otherwise you won't know exactly how much you have.

5) Exercise self control, gather your thoughts, prepare, ensure you are calm, and then respond rather than reacting in the moment.

What has been said and done cannot be unsaid or undone.

Once it's out there, it can leave lasting scars/impressions.

You only have one chance to make a first impression.

It really is less effort to keep quiet and wait for insight and wisdom before responding than it takes to clean up the mess created by impulsive, emotional speech or behavior.

6) Learn to listen well, with empathy.

Hearing requires no effort, as it is merely the physical activity of sound-waves hitting your eardrums and the resulting biological processes.

It takes effort to listen, which involves paying attention so you know what it means and can understand it.

'We hear noise but we listen to music'.

Try to understand what the other person is feeling and trying to convey to you.

Don't always listen with the view to how you should respond while the person is still making their point. This is selective engagement that attempts to elevate you above the other person's reality, so that you can provide some self-indulgent insights or advice or the solution to what you think is the problem when all they want is sympathy and someone to listen properly.

7) Focus on the good in every situation and person.

You can find the good if you look for it properly. It's a mindset to cultivate, which will avoid loads of hardship. Adopting an 'attitude of gratitude' is the cornerstone hereof.

8) Acceptance is better than rejection, just as acknowledgement trumps denial.

Face your demons, which are regularly linked to emotions.

Men struggle to identify emotions more than women do.

Identify it, Name it, Conquer It, Control It. This stems from the fact that, if you don't know what to call it (what it is), how can you determine what to do about it?

9) This may offend some people's sensitivities: Don't be overly sensitive and personalise everything. It's invariably not actually about you personally.

On the other end of the scale, don't be aloof, distant and impersonal.

Relationship is a two-way street, requiring proper engagement from both parties in order to be effective and grow. Varying degrees of sensitivity are what is called for as are appropriate in the contexts.

10) Set realistic expectations of people that are properly considered in the context. The expectation will be different for work, social, family, service staff, traffic behaviour, etc.

If you set the bar too high all the time, you will simply set yourself up for disappointment, as people will thus constantly let you down.

Don't be the person that others speak of as "Why is he/she so angry all the time?".

11) Be brutally honest about how critical you are and how open to criticism you are, and then be really intentional to avoid being contentious or opinionated, as that is critical by nature and will cause conflict. Also, do not defect away from yourself or 'turn it around' to be about them when someone is attempting to offer you meaningful advice.

Complain, criticise and compare less.

12) Be honest about your emotions and feelings. Ignoring them won't make them go away. Bottling them up or denying them will cause festering that could accumulate into something otherwise avoidable.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall....how do I become the best version of myself I was intended to be?